I clearly remember the first patient I ever “lost.” A naive 3rd-year medical, I entered the hospital one morning to find my favorite patient had died overnight. I was devasted not by her loss but rather that after days of spending extra time in her room, she had died alone. The feeling of witnessing a soul leaving remains a constant even without a monitor, or the sights or smell of death to notify me of a loss. While being a physician has made me comfortable around death, and the inevitability of it; I have witnessed denial, profound grief, and radical acceptance of both my patients and their loved ones. In the Collected Regrets we find an alternative to the cold approach we often take toward death.
I connected with Clover almost instantly. Her gift: providing comfort at the end of life and bearing witness to the final moments. Brammer so clearly captures the range of emotions I have seen around death, from rage to sorrow over the loss of life’s simple pleasures. Brammer’s writing is beautiful allowing me to picture Clover and each of the people she ushered through dying. Clover is flawed and living a life full of fear while simultaneously trying to alleviate others’ fear of death. The contrast is inspiring, and her character development drove my love of this book.
Picken’s narration added to the heaviness of this book and provided hope as Clover’s character began to experience the world with a renewed perspective. Her voice added to my enjoyment and truly allowed the listener to get into the head of Clover.
I am not sure this would be a five-star read for everyone, but I think it is a must-read for anyone uncomfortable with death. This book touched a piece of me I so rarely get to share with those outside of work, and I hope that those who read 𝘊𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘙𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘊𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 feel an pull towards a life filled with fewer regrets and more living.
